it seems that i lost it all in the moment.

its the transition period from graduation to working. a poor student with the dream to save all the money she haf for a beautiful graduation trip and then pay off the study loan. that leaves the poor women with total no desire to spend any money. the urge to save every bit she has seems to be the extreme of her life. life seems so boring. having to live everyday spending as little as possible. the misery of doing nothing. even window shopping can be a chore. is it realli necessary to scrimp on every single bit?

lost and confused. watching movies at home seems to be the favourite pastime of mine in the past. now, even watching dramas at home seems to be boring. nothing seems to put an excitement in my life. have i changed? or probably i have grown to love the simple life of sumba. since the day i left sumba for bali, everything seemed different. even when i touched down in singapore, sumba seem to still remain within mi. the 'tv' experience is realli an experience u cant get anywhere. now, im back to reality. but the familiar reality that was so close to me once seem to be a totally new environment. it can be said that i have changed in certain ways. the routine that we do everyday seems so dear to mi now. sleeping, waking ppl up in the morning, gg to the orphanage, working, lunch, back to work and den dinner and rest. the simple, clear cut life. the fun we had in doing manual work is something that will remain in my heart. it will onli became a memory that remains in my heart. hope my little efforts there is contributory in every aspect.

it seems that xavier also forgotten mi alr. prolly cos he is sick today so that explains his actions. but i realli do hope to play with him again when he feels beta. will that be possible?

wat do i want. wat do i need. wat can i do to make that happen. how can i enjoy my last few days of hols? answers anyone?