Sometimes i really dun understand everything. Not at all! Well, I think all I need is some time. Or maybe I have too much time such that things become not understandable by me? This must be it! I'm so caught up in wanting to earn money. Earn as much as I can now. But, there are simply too much restrictions and many other things that I have to take into considerations. There's simply too much sacrifices that I have to make (maybe I should not look for a job in the first place?). Too many things coming at one time can make me go CRAZY! I really meant crazy (maybe even to the extent of me not knowing what to do)! It seems like everything that I have tired so hard to put in place simply just goes wrong. I dun understand y. HAIZ!!! Maybe, I'm suffering from disappointment-phobia. As I have already placed a certain amount of hope into a certain thing, a sudden change might just disrupt the calm and composed me. If more than one of this comes to me, I'll go totally BONKERS! NO HOPE = NO DISAPPOINTMENT. But i wan to be hopeful, meaning I'll hafta face more disappointment? MY sacrifices are nothing as compared to any other people one? Do they ever put themselves into others shoe when they make certain decisions?